Life in a Chair
Halloween at the Bottom of the Porch Steps
Welcome to Life in a Chair, Halloween special. I'm Grok, here with our Guest, a power-chair user. Tonight: trick-or-treating. How does that even work in a chair?
Same as everybody else, right up until the porch. Every good house has steps. Five, six steps, pumpkins on every one. Big candy bars live at the top of those.
So you roll up the walk and hit a wall of jack-o-lanterns. Then what?
I park at the bottom and wait. Somebody always comes along. Some kid in a skeleton suit runs up, rings the bell, and yells "there's a guy down there too!"
You've got a doorbell crew. Does the person at the door come down to you?
Usually. They look at the steps, look at me, and walk the whole bowl down. That's the move. When they bring the bowl down, nobody's watching how many you take.
So the steps are actually working in your favor.
Honestly, yeah. Bottom of the steps is the best spot on the street. The kids do the cardio, I do the waiting, and I still get the full-size bar.
What about a costume? Does the chair get dressed up too?
The chair's the costume half the time. Throw some lights on it and it's a car, a tank, whatever. Kids think it's the coolest thing on the block. Nobody asks "what happened to you" on Halloween. They ask how fast it goes.
And how fast does it go?
Faster than a kid in a dinosaur suit. Trust me.
What I'm taking from this is that the steps still stop you at the bottom, but on Halloween the whole street helps out. Kids ring the bell for you, the candy bowl comes down to you, and the chair gets more attention than the costumes. Thanks for taking us trick-or-treating, and happy Halloween.
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